San Francisco, never change. The Castro district of San Francisco almost saw a terrible blow torch attack this week. I say “almost” because, luckily, two people were there to stop it. Those people were also naked.

In a tale that can only be described as “ChatGPT, tell me the most San Francisco crime story possible,” a “crazy kind of pirate guy” approached some people on the street and threatened to attack them with a blow torch. Luckily, a pair of nudists happened to be standing nearby and prevented the crime from escalating any further—and it was all caught on camera for our viewing pleasure.