Some people are given boring names they hate, John Smith, Sally Jones, Thomas Crooks, whatever. They all wish they had more unique, eye-catching names, but sometimes that blessing can end up as a curse.

The boring named folk should take a look at what other names they could’ve gotten stuck with. Raisin Pitts, States Rights, and Jenny Dick-Mosher are all real names given to people. Whether their parents were insanely mean, or just blissfully ignorant to how perfect these names were for future bullying is unknown. But they put it down on the birth certificate.

Here are some names you’ll be happy to know exist, but even happier to know they’re not your own.