35 Clap-Backs to Share Around the Thanksgiving Table

Nathan Johnson Published 11/23/2023 in Funny

Thanksgiving is here and so is that one cousin with a lazy eye and that one alcoholic aunt of yours, yay! Now, we aren't arming you with brutal clap-backs so that you get into a fight with your extended family and today, the day we give thanks, but they are here if you find yourself in need of good comeback once the forks are dropped and before the pie comes out.

Oh, someone has something to say about how many hours you spend playing video games. Bring up their multiple divorces.

If someone tries to out you for still being single, bring up all their divorces.

Sometimes your family can be difficult. That's why you've decided to arm yourself with 35 epic comebacks, clap-backs, and roasts, fit for use at the Thanksgiving table.

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1.
They never look good when they try to come at you.
2.
It always comes a place of insecurity.
3.
4.
What do people expect the kids to do when they come over? And then their kids are worse than anyone else's.
5.
6.
Is one any better than the other?
7.
Let's not try and suggest like bad decisions are not something you ever did yourself.
8.
9.
10.
I'd like to have seen all of their report cards.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
We're out here thinking about ourselves first.
28.
29.
30.
31.
At least I can keep my food once it's on my plate.
32.
33.
34.
The results of the village failing the child.
35.

1.
They never look good when they try to come at you.
2.
It always comes a place of insecurity.
3.
4.
What do people expect the kids to do when they come over? And then their kids are worse than anyone else's.
5.
6.
Is one any better than the other?
7.
Let's not try and suggest like bad decisions are not something you ever did yourself.
8.
9.
10.
I'd like to have seen all of their report cards.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
We're out here thinking about ourselves first.
28.
29.
30.
31.
At least I can keep my food once it's on my plate.
32.
33.
34.
The results of the village failing the child.
35.